Ironwood Again

I'm leaving for Ironwood in 6.5 hours! Like, my plane is actually leaving at that time. Which means I'll be up and at 'em in roughly 4.5 hours probably. So I'm really debating the whole sleep thing. I don't think I'll make it to bed. I might fall asleep on the couch, but even that is up for debate.

I'm going to go start Sense and Sensibility. This may be the last post for quite some time. No guarantee that I'll get access to the site out at camp.


I think I made up a word. I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm in a different mood for me. Pensive and kind of unsettled I guess. Not that that's a really weird thing for me to be pensive or anything, but I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling.

Side note . . . I finished The Da Vinci Code around 4:00 today so I can cross another one off the list.

Yeah. I just don't know what it is, to be honest. It seems everything these days ties back to guys. (You're all stupid!!! Lol!) But I can't even say that's the whole problem. Ok. I'll stop rambling. Basically, it's hard for me because when I'm at home, I don't ever go out and hang out with anybody because the only friends I have left here are at church or work. And at church, the only guy that really talks to me is Brett who's 3 years younger than me! Plus, there are what . . . 2 college age guys there?! It's just hard. And at work . . . no one again. I love working with Becky, Rachel, Teeny & everybody, of course, but that's work.

Sometimes I feel like I'm unfriendly, but I'm not. I'm a nice girl. Will any guys ever figure that out?! Lol. I am cracking myself up, now. And honestly, I'm so content and happy to not have the complications of a relationship right now. It would be awful to have a boyfriend I wouldn't be seeing for the whole summer. And it would be hard to have one while I'm at school cuz I'm a busy person. I mean, obviously, timing is all God's and it's not that I want a boyfriend right now because this summer is not mine. I've already made that decision and put all that in His hands. This summer is for my girls, not me. It won't be like last summer, that's for sure!

And I wouldn't want to be dating someone just to be dating someone because that's never been me. Seriously. As soon as I figure out someone isn't the one, it's all over in my mind. I think I just miss having guy friends around. Guys are so much easier to get along with than girls! We are so stinking awful in friendships!!!!! Touchy, proud, selfish, jealous. Yeah. All the things I look for in a friend, right? Lol.

I think there are just days when you feel lonely and this is kinda one of those days. It's like I don't fit in here anymore. At church, I don't fit into the College & Career class . . . I mean, I guess I do, but none of them are really friends of mine. I don't fit into the youth group anymore because now the seniors are 3 years younger than me and they all have their own girlfriends/boyfriends to be enthralled with. I don't quite fit in at work just because of different standards and the fact that I'm never there.I feel like, Ok, Chattanooga. It's over with you. I'm done. I love my parents, but I hate being home.

I'm restless.

This, I know, is one of the reasons I am so excited about going back to Ironwood in only 2 days and 4 hours. Because out there, I'm doing something. I'm impacting people and people are impacting me. Building relationships. And in the middle of the desert! Crazy fun. Bring it on!

Da Vinci

I think I'm finally beginning to understand all the hype behind Dan Brown's book. I am getting through it quite quickly. I've only been reading for two days, but I know I'll be finished by the end of the evening. He is an amazing author.

Of course, we all know it's not his writing skills that have caused the problem. It's the content of the book. Everything seems to be tied together quite well but it is obviously fiction. Although if the rest of the stuff he's claiming true is really true, it's quite interesting to know all this stuff.

After going through History of Art (two semesters worth) I still have question that a female is actually beside Jesus in The Last Supper. It was interesting, though, to note some of the things about the paintings. And it was cool because I was remembering what these different paintings looked like. For example, I could understand the difference mentioned between Madonna of the Rocks and Virgin of the Rocks. I feel like I've been well-educated.

Anyways, as art is a passion of mine, it's a great book. I don't think I could really recommend it because of the content of it, but it has kept my interest. I was a little freaked out the last couple nites, though. I guess no reason, really, but my mind has a tendency to wander and ponder strange things late at nite/early morning. That's another reason I know I'll be done with the book by the end of the nite. Lol. It has to be resolved before I sleep again.