“prevent from progressing, succeeding, or being fulfilled”


I want to write a poem.
I want to set myself under strict guidelines of meter and rhyme and create something beautiful. But I don’t know enough about poetry to start.

I want to compose music.
I don’t know the first thing about theory. Nor do I know the first thing about composing. Those probably overlap quite a bit.

I want to cook a lot of good food.
I even have the menu. I just lack the means.

I want to be dating.
Yeah. I know a lot of guys. I even have some pretty good guy friends. In all honesty, though, none of us would be very compatible for a deeper relationship. Or maybe just not now. This is probably one of the most frustrating of them all.

I want to read with comprehension.
Seriously. So I’m taking this class that has 40-pg. reading assignments (which is a lot for an art major like me who generally sits in front of a computer and designs). I’ve been getting like 4’s on the quizzes when I read the material (4 out of 8 . . . Don’t be proud of me), so I decided to start taking notes while I read. The other day I spent a good 2 hours on this stupid chapter and I got a 6. What’s even worse is that my friend who didn’t read the chapter got a 6.

I want to be inspired.
I get moments of inspiration. Generally during the middle of a sermon or while I’m sitting at my internship. Projects that are envisioned but never finished. A lot of sketches. And then when I go to design, something happens, and it stops.

So I could probably continue on with the list of current frustrations. But there’s something pretty cool that I know about my wants. Actually, a couple of things . . .

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Isaiah 55:8-9 For My thoughts are not your thoughts; Nor are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

There is some consolation.



So here I am. Once again.

But I’m not torn into pieces.

My friend said something funny to me the other day. We were discussing Ann Coulter and we had a disagreement. He tends to become very intense when he argues (i.e., yelling, screaming, turning red and purple). So he yelled at me, “If you could comprehend enough to agree with me, then maybe we could have a conversation!”

Um. yeah. I laughed pretty loudly and obnoxiously over that one. (I know you don’t think I could ever be obnoxious.)

Moving on . . . less than 60 days (that’s 2 months!) before I graduate. That tentatively means that it’s less than 2 months till I get to see Bob, Rebekah and Sarah! How exciting. Although, lots of moves are going on, so I don’t know if that changes any plans.

I’m hoping to get inspired here in a few minutes. I need to produce a few more pieces for my show.

So yeah. Now that I can post to my blog . . . I have nothing to say. Sorry for boring you to death.


That’s how I feel life is right now. Completely pointless.

I think it’s just the weekends that get me down. Other than that, I don’t have a lot of time to think. I think we’re at 63 days until graduation, too. That’s a frightening thought. At least I know what I’ll be doing for a few months after that.

So I’ve been researching existentialism lately. Interesting. I want to know a lot of things. I wish I could carry my curiosity (in almost everything) through to a full understanding.

In other news, our design show opens in 21 days. Yes folks, a mere 3 weeks from now, I will be available to sign any and all autographs. The height of my college career is over in 75 minutes. That’s pointless.