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I am frustrated.

Not really over-the-top frustrated, just a little frustrated. I’m supposed to print as many books as possible between today and tomorrow lunch. My goal was to get 40 done. Looking at the amount of time it’s taken to print each book, that would tentatively take about 20 hours. I was hoping to still get that accomplished. I started with 30 just for sanity’s sake. Anyways . . . so I’ve been printing since about 9:30 this morning (it’s almost 4:00 now). So I’ve put in a good amount of work. And I just realized that 3 sections that I’ve printed (thank goodness I had only printed 12 copies of each) was off. The paper guides got loose and started not feeding the paper exactly straight which means my page number ended up about halfway closer to the margin that it was supposed to be. Bla. So here I sit . . . watching paper guides.

The good news is that the designing part of the process is pretty much over with. I have 1 picture I need to replace, and hopefully we’ll get a good picture of the arena at Shodeo tomorrow which means that will be taken care of.

I just hate more than anything to feel like I’m wasting something. Like time and paper, for example.

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mil

In case you were wondering, the measurement known as a mil is equal to .001 of an inch.

[The blessed things you learn when ordering magnetic business cards.]

I just finished printing 8 of my books. The total time in print was around 3.5 hours I think. Wow. And I have something like 140 left to print. That’ll be fun. :)

So the most current job idea I have is teaching. I know. You probably just rolled your little eyes and laughed. But I’m serious. I sat here for a while this morning looking online for a job. (A teaching job anywhere nationwide.) I know generally you have to have a teaching certificate or something like that, but I also know that most Christian schools don’t require that because they have such a need for teachers. I was thinking about 3rd grade. Or high school. But 3rd grade would be so much fun. They already know how to write, you aren’t really messing them up at that point in their life, and you get to learn multiplication. How awesome!

Anyways, as I was saying . . . I was looking online this morning and getting discouraged because I wasn’t finding a whole lot. Or I would see something interesting, but the job would need to be filled by August 20 when I’m out here til August 19. That would be difficult. I’ll just go ahead and say impossible. I want to be at home for at least a month when I get back.

[I really am going somewhere with all this.]

Then a thought struck me. I have a friend who’s teaching English in China and is having a great time. She’s over there for the next 2 years. Well . . . I would love to travel. And there’s nothing tying me down anywhere at this point. And it would provide for a great opportunity in the area of ministry. I’m not crazy about going to China, so I checked out other areas where I would be able to teach overseas. I found Italy (among a few others).

Italy. [cue angelic voices]

They have a program that costs $2000 for everything. You go over, get your TESOL certification and then find a job teaching English. How exciting. Granted, it’s still in the brainstorming portion, but I would love to do something like that. With that program, you can also get an internship in lots of different areas (see the chart). It costs a little extra, but how fun!

Marketing Art Architecture
Web & Graphic Design International Business Fashion
Sales Law Agriculture
Leather & Textiles Maritime Tourism
Interior Design Business Development Social Work

In order to get the money to do this, I could go back home until January of 08 and get a basic job to earn some money. Then I would head over to Italy for the class session from January through February (it’s a 28-day program).

So yeah. It’s just an idea. But I would love to head that direction if God gives the ok. How cool.

homeless

My thoughts have been challenged again. I’m beginning to like this a lot. After feeling a little sorry for myself that I don’t know what’s going on anymore and the fact that I don’t have any plans for 50 days from now, I began to wonder who my Jesus is.

My God is One who didn’t think about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. The God I serve sent His Son to be homeless – to live a completely selfless life. And guess what? He never wanted anything. He didn’t bother Himself with building up possessions or wondering who He was going to marry. He was so consumed with the Father that He cared nothing for Himself. That’s what I want. Maybe He could do all that because He knew He came to die. Maybe I should do that because I am dead. I should be anyways. Christ is living in me, so how is there still any room for self? Maybe that’s what Christ meant when He said you can’t serve 2 masters. I’ve always been told that literally, that interprets out to money and Christ. It makes sense. So why would I ever choose money?

I’ve discovered that there’s no point in a job unless it glorifies God. So for me, a lot of the options I’ve been looking at just don’t hold any glitter anymore. The shiny has worn off before I’ve even started. I was given advice about a month ago to find a church, then find a job (thanks, Michelle!). What great advice. I know that for me to work in an office will seem completely and utterly pointless to me and probably drive me insane in a matter of days. I need a ministry. My ability to design is worth nothing if it’s not being used for Him. I wouldn’t be happy in an office.

So now, I guess I’m looking for a church.

Then in the midst of all of this, I get bombarded again. Let me give you a little excerpt from a book I picked up . . .

Rich stood up in chapel and said, “You guys are all into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter into the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too . . . [And he paused in the awkward silence.] But I guess that’s why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest.”

I’ve been choosing to live a comfortable life. Is that really what being a Christian is about? I actually think the life of Christ directly opposes any form of comfort. Think about it. When did Jesus do something purely for His comfort? But I kinda ignore those parts of the Bible. So maybe what needs to happen is some intense scouring of the life of Christ.

All these thoughts have jumped on me in only the past couple of days, so forgive me if they seem a little jumbled. They are.

Interestingly enough, it’s beginning to bother me less that I don’t really have plans.