My thoughts have been challenged again. I’m beginning to like this a lot. After feeling a little sorry for myself that I don’t know what’s going on anymore and the fact that I don’t have any plans for 50 days from now, I began to wonder who my Jesus is.

My God is One who didn’t think about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. The God I serve sent His Son to be homeless – to live a completely selfless life. And guess what? He never wanted anything. He didn’t bother Himself with building up possessions or wondering who He was going to marry. He was so consumed with the Father that He cared nothing for Himself. That’s what I want. Maybe He could do all that because He knew He came to die. Maybe I should do that because I am dead. I should be anyways. Christ is living in me, so how is there still any room for self? Maybe that’s what Christ meant when He said you can’t serve 2 masters. I’ve always been told that literally, that interprets out to money and Christ. It makes sense. So why would I ever choose money?

I’ve discovered that there’s no point in a job unless it glorifies God. So for me, a lot of the options I’ve been looking at just don’t hold any glitter anymore. The shiny has worn off before I’ve even started. I was given advice about a month ago to find a church, then find a job (thanks, Michelle!). What great advice. I know that for me to work in an office will seem completely and utterly pointless to me and probably drive me insane in a matter of days. I need a ministry. My ability to design is worth nothing if it’s not being used for Him. I wouldn’t be happy in an office.

So now, I guess I’m looking for a church.

Then in the midst of all of this, I get bombarded again. Let me give you a little excerpt from a book I picked up . . .

Rich stood up in chapel and said, “You guys are all into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter into the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too . . . [And he paused in the awkward silence.] But I guess that’s why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest.”

I’ve been choosing to live a comfortable life. Is that really what being a Christian is about? I actually think the life of Christ directly opposes any form of comfort. Think about it. When did Jesus do something purely for His comfort? But I kinda ignore those parts of the Bible. So maybe what needs to happen is some intense scouring of the life of Christ.

All these thoughts have jumped on me in only the past couple of days, so forgive me if they seem a little jumbled. They are.

Interestingly enough, it’s beginning to bother me less that I don’t really have plans.


One thought on “homeless

  1. bob says:


    thanks for reading the book. keep going. it’ll keep kicking you in the face. it makes me cry.

    i’m praying for you every day.

    i should be hearing back about dallas by the end of this week. maybe you should work there too.

    love you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s