vegas

Some observations I made before my flight out last night:

Gambling is pointless.
I’ll admit . . . last year before my plane left, 2 of my friends and I played the slots just to say we had done it. But to see people actually live for that is insane. I overhead a conversation in which a couple related to a stranger how they had spent the last 3 days gambling. The man said the first day they went down quite a bit, the second day they were able to recover most of the money, and the third day they went down a little more. As I was listening to that conversation, I noticed a woman who had been sitting at one slot machine for about 10 minutes, constantly pushing the button for the next roll. After another 10 minutes at that machine (with no luck), she moved to the one directly across from it. She was at that machine for another 10 minutes at least. What’s the point? If it’s just to pass the time, I can find a much cheaper way of doing that.

Family is important.
I ended up in the last seat possible on the airplane (31F if you were wondering). As we were waiting for the plane to take off, the man in 31A began to explain what he was doing in Vegas. He had only come to drop his little 5-year-old girl off at her mother’s. Apparently, she spends every summer in New York with her dad . . . plus some holidays . . . and the school year is spent in Las Vegas at her mother’s. She’s just starting school this year, which might change things a little. What an awful arrangement.

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Oops.

Sometimes you end up doing things that you thought you never would.

A little thought was planted in my mind by a pretty cool person. He said something along the lines of…”We don’t go around looking for these things. God just brings them to us, and then we know it’s our responsibility.” I’m probably paraphrasing very badly, but I think I’m still getting the basic idea across.

Tonight in prayer group we played a fun game. Take an everyday object and apply it to your spiritual life. Here’s what we came up with . . .

  • jump drive: our sins aren’t stored forever on God’s list; they can be removed.
  • watch: we need to make every second of our lives count
  • gouache paint: God brings us things that we don’t always enjoy, but they’re there to help us rely on Him and teach us lessons
  • magnets: I can’t let anything get between me and God because my attraction to Him will be interrupted
  • paintbrush: without God’s hand, I can’t do anything. I’m like a paintbrush without an artist
  • play-dough: I should be able to molded by God’s hand to become whatever He wants me to be
  • wd-40: this was compared to God’s Word. Without constantly being in the Bible, I become squeaky and get stuck in a rut. But if I’m constantly in God’s Word, things will tend to run smoothly
  • stapler: we can rely on God to keep our lives together
  • tube of toothpaste: I need to watch what I do and say, because once something has occurred, it can’t be taken back. Just like once the toothpaste is out, it can’t be put back in.
  • lint roller: A lint roller picks up black from a black sweater or white from a white sweater. It picks up whatever it’s around. I need to surround myself with godly people because they will rub off on me.
  • ball: God has the whole world in His hands

Lastly, the thing I chose was an eraser. At first, I didn’t know what I was going to say, but then I was hit with a thought. Ok, as an artist, I always dreaded drawing class because I can’t draw. To me, the most important tool isn’t the pencil, but the eraser. I constantly focus on all the mistakes I make. If you study a true artist, you can’t help but notice how free they are in their strokes. They aren’t concerned with stray lines or things that may seem out of place. They just keep drawing. And in the end, they produce a beautiful work of art. I don’t have to be so focused on all the mistakes I make. God doesn’t say, “Wow. You royally messed that one up, Stees. We’re gonna have to go back and erase that.” I limit God when I feel like I’ve made a mistake that He can’t handle. He takes whatever mistakes I make and brings them all back to glorify Himself. I don’t have the capability to mess up God’s plan for my life. Taking this back to the classroom example, a lot of the times, I was so focused on drawing the line just right that I would erase something fifty times. I wasted over half the class period at times trying to make sure I was doing something perfectly instead of realizing that sometimes it’s the little oddities that add so much.

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Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like it would be nice just to know.

And then I wonder if I really do want to know.

I think I always come back to the realization that I do know lots of things. But, as a normal person, I focus on the one main thing I don’t know instead of living based on the things I do know.

Here are the things I want to know:

1. Am I  going to get married? If so, to whom?
2. What should I do next year?
3. What will I be doing for the rest of my life?
4. Why does loving people have to hurt so badly?

Here are the things I do know:

1. God is good, and love is who He is.
2. God will give me the right desires when I delight in Him.
3. In trying to figure out what to do next year, I should take the next logical step. If God doesn’t want me there, He’ll close the door.
4. It wouldn’t be love without sacrifice, and sacrifice tends to hurt.
5. I’m where I need to be at this exact moment.
6. If I don’t have it, I don’t need it right now. (God promises to supply my needs.)
7. God’s timing is perfect. His ways and thoughts are so much above mine that I’ll never be able to understand them. I shouldn’t try to predict when things will happen.
8. I am never in control of anything. So I should just stop trying.

MySpace and Strangeness

Wow. MySpace really ticks me off. I kinda have an account on it, but not really because I never update it and it's really only so I can look for friends. But I hate it. Dumb and stupid. Ok, I'm done now.

My friend Becky graduated on Friday. Actually, a few of my friends graduated with her (Brett, Cape, Steven, Trevor) and a couple others who used to be friends but I really just never talk to them anymore . . . but yeah. I went to it and it was good. I enjoyed seeing all the old people from school. It was weird to think that they were freshmen when I was a senior. Becky is still my favorite freshman, hands down and she will always be that!

Yeah, last nite we had a wicked storm over here. Actually, it was early this morning. We're talking like 3:00 a.m. I was awake because, while I enjoy your average thunderstorm, I don't enjoy lightning and thunder right outside my window! I always start thinking in wcs-mode (Worst Case Scenario) and start pondering how at any moment one of the very tall pine trees in the woods behind our house could slice through my room. Yeah, I hate paranoia. Anyways, so like 3:18 my door bursts open, and my dad is like, "Audrey, where are your keys?!" (My dad has sleep-apnea, so he wears this mouth piece so he won't die in the middle of the nite, so really it was more like, "Audwee, whea aah you keyth?!") I groggily asked why he needed them and he told me that my car alarm was going off. The one nite I park my car outside the garage and it starts going off. So I went and fixed that. We're not sure if lightning hit the car or if it just went off because the storm was so crazy. It was weird. But something happened with it when I was at work earlier yesterday (it was storming badly again). So yeah, whatever.

I've been seriously slacking on my reading. I haven't touched Contentment since my last post but I've been trying to get through Created for His Glory seeing as that one needs to be done for camp. I'm on chapter 9, so there's like 5 more or something. I should get through that in a couple days. BUT I did just finish one of those Puzz3d puzzle things (the capital building) and I did it all by myself. I'm such a grandma at 21. This is not looking good.

Summer Endeavors (my booklist)

I don't know if that's the right word. ("Endeavors", that is.) But you'll get over it if it's not. I have already finished 2 books and have started on 2 more. I have a list of 16 already and I know it will continue to grow as my summer escapes me.

Here's the list:
Cultivating Spiritual Fruit by Robert C. Gage
The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs
Help . . . I'm a Camp Counselor by Norman Wright
The Five Love Languages
by Gary Chapman
Created for His Glory by Jim Berg
Brokenness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Surrender by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown
Single, but not Sorry by Joyce Parks (eh . . . this is a maybe)
The Blithedale Romance by Nathaniel Hawthorne
How to Talk to a Liberal (if You Must) by Ann Coulter (started)
Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Ready to Restore by Jay Adams
12 Dynamic Bible Study Methods by Richard Warren (aka Rick Warren)
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Persuasion by Jane Austen (maybe . . . could be too much of Jane for me for one summer)

And there are 5-10 more books in my dad's library (over 600 books) that I'm definitely interested in. My goal is one a day until camp starts, at least. We'll see.

I don't know what's sparked my interest in reading so suddenly. If I read all these books, it'll probably be more than I've read my entire life (close, at least).

the last nite

My final evening at school was funny. I actually climbed into one of the overheads, which I’ve been meaning to do for a while now. Connie was able to capture some pictures of it, although most weren’t exactly . . . um . . . flattering, to put it nicely.

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