the wish list

we look good

In accordance with tradition (I must admit I’m using the term “tradition” lightly . . . seeing as it’s only been two years), I’ve decided to post my wish list for all to see. This is in case Santa has given up his own tradition of reading through written letters, etc. (It’s also in case anyone interested in buying me a present is having a hard time coming up with ideas.) For the third year in a row . . . The List.

  • 2(+) GB jump drive
  • Computer case that is beefy enough to house not only my MacBook Pro (and associated cords), but also the new tablet my (amazing) boyfriend got me.
  • Ridiculously artistic earrings
  • Shocks for my car (I put this in my Christmas list because I hate to ask for them any other way)
  • Some new piano books, preferably by Gina Sprunger or Dan Forrest
  • Calligraphy stuff (pens, paints, inks, paper—no books, though)
  • A boyfriend

I’m sure you probably didn’t even notice, but yes, that last item is marked out.

[Ok.
Stop gasping right now.
The rest of the world needs oxygen, too.]

I will refrain from posting the entire story on my blog or facebook for that matter. If you’re interested in more details, oh well. ;) His name is Jon, and he’s a year older than me. We’ve been best friends for about 10 months or so. His future plans involve camp work and our abilities complement each other. We have a thing for Burger King. We’ll be spending part of Christmas break together, but we’ve already met each others’ parents (at the end of the summer) so there isn’t as much stress thinking about that. :) My parents are in love with him—ok, my mom really likes him and Dad thinks he’s a good guy, too.

I’m planning on posting some semblance of an update soon.

Until then, enjoy the Christmas season!

summer.

I have just lived through the most intense summer of my life. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but there were definitely a few learning times. Let’s see if I can quickly recap the past few months of my life.

May 26—29: During my break before summer, I was able to help a friend move to Marina, CA and spent several days touring that area. We ventured to Monterey Bay and San Luis Obispo [sp?]. We went to visit the Winchester Mystery House. We had lots of laughs and enjoyed our extra travel buddy, C. Jack. We took lots of photos with him, as you’ll notice. On the way back to Ironwood, JOn and I were able to stop in Bakersfield and visit Laurie Barnes, one of our favorite horsemanship campers.

May 30—31: I volunteered to help Sam Brock and JOn build a lean-to garage type building. It was a good way to earn a little extra money, and I’m always eager to build things. [No, really. I actually considered carpentry as a major.] We [they found easy things for me to do] built it all from the ground up. I even got to help put on the roof. Nothing like hot desert sun pounding down heat on you and the metal roof you’re attaching. I started the summer already a little sun-kissed. :) Day two we only had to paint and clean up. I really enjoyed the work.

June 2—14 [Staff Training]: For a counselor, this means Stem Winding at 7:00, breakfast at 8:00, other meetings until around 10:00 and then—LIFEGUARD TRAINING [at least during week one]! This was my fourth summer at Ironwood and my third summer counseling. Lifeguard certification lasts for three years, and so my time to re-certify was here. The water was cold, as always, but the weather was awful. We had a ridiculous sand storm the day that the girls had to be in the lake. Fun. Heh. But we made it through, and I’m good for another three years now.

Week two was able to hit hard. Mr. Sam spoke on acknowledging God, from Proverbs 3:5—6. Talk about getting a rebuke. I had just spent a week in lifeguard training, passed relatively easily, and had yet to acknowledge God for any of it. And I’m counseling. HELLO!?! So that was an awesome thing to focus on for the summer—in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

June 16—July 5 [Horsemanship 1—3]: These weeks are all kinda muddled in my mind. I had a few of the same campers for all three weeks, which is probably why it gets confusing. These weeks came at me fast, and I don’t think I was as prepared for them as I should’ve been. The first week of camp kinda surprised me [which it shouldn’t have]. I had lots of fun, but I don’t feel like I necessarily counseled well. I enjoyed my girls and laughed tons. God worked in my heart big time during weeks two and three. I had to get to the point where I was willing to give up anything for God—realizing that if I wasn’t willing, it had become an idol. There were a few hard times during those weeks, but I really enjoyed having a lot of the same girls. I had the privilege of counseling the four graduating girls—Laurie, Abecca, April, and Olivia—for those weeks as well as Becca and Jessica. I love counseling . . . probably because I love building those relationships. I feel like I left those weeks, not just with campers, but friends.

July 7—12 [Junior High 1]: I don’t think I’ve ever had a cabin entirely full of 12 and 13 year-old girls before. If I have, I didn’t learn a whole lot from the experience. I was able to lead one of my campers to the Lord on the first day of camp. It was pretty cool, actually. We were walking back from taking the swim test, and I asked her about her salvation and she said she was a little confused because she’d heard lots of different things about salvation. I walked her down the Romans Road and explained God’s free gift to her. She said she wanted to accept it, and when we got back to the cabin, I grabbed my Bible and showed her the verses I had mentioned and she asked God to save her. It’s always fun to me to hear the girls that say “I don’t know how to pray” talk to God. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable for them, but their prayers are beautiful and simple.

July 14—19 [Junior High 2]: I was a little more prepared mentally for this week than the last. It was another full cabin, and a completely different dynamic than week one of junior high. I had a great time and most of the girls made some great decisions. We enjoyed our overnight campout without any bees. [The first week of junior high, we battled literally hundreds of bees trying to overtake our water coolers. I courageously carried them to safety with the bees still all over them. Yes, I know. I’m brave.] One of my campers also got a delightful [ha!] song about a moose stuck in my head. It’s very catchy. I’d love to teach you sometime. This cabin was full of fun and crazy girls. Good times.

I believe the weekend after this camp was my breaking point. I had lots of stuff going on personally, and I was at the end of myself. [I found out that’s where God uses you.] I poured myself out to God and decided to trust Him with everything I couldn’t control. We sang a song this summer in Ike’s Roost called Broken and Spilled Out. I think all of the counselors in Ike’s could say we were broken and spilled out before God at some point this summer. Every day for the rest of the summer, I was able to wake up and ask God for help very specifically that day. I believe the summer ended well because of that.

July 21—26 [Horsemanship 4]: I think this was my first small cabin of the summer. You’ll notice there are only five campers here. We had a blast this week. It was the week of TMI [things no one ever needs to be informed of were often announced to the rest of the camp]. My cabin enjoyed the luxury of being small and really got to know each other. The girls camped out on the floor one night and just seemed to get along pretty well. A baby lizard was lost in our cabin . . . she climbed out of her cup. I never did find her, but I didn’t see her again, so maybe she got out somehow. There was only one upper level for week four, and she was my camper. She had plenty of one-on-one time with Stephanie and Ben and was able to pass both 4.1 and 4.2 in one week. This was our smallest week of the summer with only 3 cabins at 5 campers each—under twenty people for our entire camp, including counselors. I fell in love with small camps that week.

July 28—August 2 [Junior High 3]: Switching schedules back to junior high can throw you for a loop. But it was actually lots of fun. Another smaller week of camp made me very excited. Monday, one of my first campers to show up obviously did not want to be at camp. She came with a scowl on her face and got onto the wagon without a smile. I sat down beside her and just tried to strike up a little conversation. She answered my questions with civility, and I found out she’d never been to camp before, although she had camped out in her backyard. We dropped her stuff in the cabin and started walking back up the hill when another camper ran up and put her arm around Katlyn and basically just welcomed her to camp and told her she was gonna have fun. My little camper, Nina showed up shortly after that, and she hit it off with Katlyn. At the end of the first night, Katlyn and Nina both said, “Miss Audrey, this has been the best day of my life.” My girls made great decisions about consistent devotions and controlling their tongues that week. That was the week I started doing bedtime stories. I found a book at a yard sale or something called The Rumplestiltskin Problem. It’s hilarious. Basically, the lady who wrote it said the story of Rumplestiltskin doesn’t make sense [and it doesn’t!]. There are huge questions left unanswered. So she wrote six alternate stories to try to answer those questions. The girls loved it, and we were in bed early every night. It worked like a charm.

August 4—9 [Horsemanship 5]: At this point in the summer, you’re beginning to smell home. I love horsemanship camp, though, and the atmosphere of it. This week was proof that God’s timing is amazing. On Monday we had a ridiculous storm come straight down the middle of camp. We got an inch-and-a-half of rain in 30 minutes. The wind was the worst I’ve ever seen it. It knocked down part of a tree which took down the power line for all of Broken I and Ike’s Roost camps. For the first time ever, we ate dinner on the Grande Veranda of the Homestead. God’s timing played out because Rivertown didn’t have any campers that week until Thursday, so their cabins were open. Broken I also had a very small camp with only 3 cabins of campers. This meant all those extra counselors not being used were put on crews for the week. They were able to step in and help with clean-up. Those of us counseling ended up moving cabins for the night because we didn’t have power in ours. That was an adventure in itself. But things were completely back to normal [whatever that is] by Tuesday morning. I dealt with several of the girls on assurance of salvation during the week. Other decisions made that week had to do with anger and really living out the Christian life—making God part of every aspect.

August 11—16 [Horsemanship 6]: The last week of summer camp for 2008. What a great week. I apologize for not having a cabin photo to display. It will get put up in time, but my photo CD for that week got misplaced in the venture home somehow. I had five campers during my last week of camp and four of them had been previous campers from the summer. I love how that works. It makes things easier because you already have that relationship with them. You know where they are and you have a general idea of where to point them. The one girl I didn’t know came out on Thursday night to deal with assurance of salvation. We walked our way through the plan of salvation, and she explained it to me. I told her it’s not a set of words you say that saves you—it’s believing and confessing. It was like a huge light bulb flicked on in her mind. Then we went to 2 Peter 1:5—10 which is [in my opinion] one of the best passages to go to for assurance of salvation. We discussed where she wasn’t living as a Christian and came up with a great plan to stick with for devotions. I’m really excited to see where God takes her.

That was my summer as concisely as I could put it. There’s much more I could talk about, but that will have to wait for future posts. God has been good to me this summer. And thankfully, I can say it’s all of Him, through Him, and to Him.

tense confabulations

Really.

Earlier today I got myself into a conversation I wanted to have. But not really. It’s one of those conversations that you say, “If they bring it up, ok, we’ll talk about it. If not, it’ll keep.” [Well, maybe you wouldn’t say that. I probably wouldn’t say those exact words either. But I’m tired right now.]

Generally, those conversations never go well for me. I end up losing a friend or want to go into my room and not come out for a very long time. But this time, I kept my friends. Believe it or not, after the conversation, things seemed less complicated.

It’s funny what a little honesty will do for you.

i’m sick [t5]

You might be wondering . . . How can this be a top 5 post?
Let me enlighten you.

I’m sick and these are the Top 5 things I enjoy when I’m sick.

  1. A nice, hot cup of tea. There are a lot of qualifiers on what a good cup of tea means to me. I’m very uncultured when it comes to tea flavors [and willingly admit that my palate is sadly limited]. I have never enjoyed hot tea that was anything but plain and simple Lipton. Yes, I know half of you would swear by your different tea flavors, but I am content to have my tastebuds satisfied. Lipton is the only thing that does it. The tea itself requires an insane amount of sugar, which isn’t good for my sickness but completely necessary for satisfaction. A handcrafted pottery mug from a friend is another important element. I have three I can choose from—mugs, not friends. I generally go with my VINTAGE mug . . . it’s the biggest and holds the most memories.
  2. Ramen. It’s true. I still remember when I was introduced to ramen noodles. I wasn’t sick at the time, but it quickly replaced the dreaded Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup as a staple during sickness. I was at my grandma’s house, and Steve Elmer [I have no idea why or how I remember his name still] was interning at their church and therefore living with my grandparents. I think I was probably 6 or 7 at the time. He came in at lunchtime and started making ramen. He made a general announcement about having ramen, and my sister and I looked inquisitively at him and asked, “What’s ramen?” Steve stood stunned for a moment. He then declared something about a sacrilege and made my sister and I each a helping. I was hooked from that point. Steve was a pretty cool guy, but the ramen is about the only thing I really remember vividly. And to think . . . if I had never met Steve I would probably still be choking down the water broth with “juicy” tidbits of chicken. [People, how can it not be juicy? It’s sitting in a bowl of water!]
  3. My glasses. I don’t really know why glasses make me feel better when I’m sick. They just do. And they’re stinkin awesome.
  4. Naps. I’m generally not a nap person. Well, maybe I should take that back. I was a nap person for the past two years of my life, but that was only to survive insane work hours. Don’t get me wrong. I love naps. I just normally can’t get to sleep during random times of the day. My body thinks sleep should not occur between the hours of 12:30—7:00 p.m. Unless I’m sick. Then weird things happen. Naps materialize out of nowhere. It really is a pleasant thing.
  5. Old movies. Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, Doris Day, Jimmy Stewart. The only explanation I have for this goes back to childhood as well. When I would end up staying home from school due to contagions and maladies [heh], we would flip over to AMC [back when it was still a decent source for movies] and watch the film classics.

Ah, yes. A hot cup of tea, a little ramen . . . old movies between peaceful dozes . . . the perfect life. [The glasses from back then aren’t even worthy of mentioning. Mom called me Goggles a few times . . . ] Sometimes sickness isn’t really all that bad. Unless you can’t breathe. Then it’s bad.

ow.

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About a month ago, I began a blog post with this:

Within the past month, my emotions have gone haywire. It’s not that I’m manic depressive or anything. Although, I don’t exactly know what the problem is. I’m just sad and lonely a lot.

I decided not to continue through with that. What a pitiful post it would have been. But . . . it’s true. That’s how I felt. Somehow [like it’s really a difficult thing to do] I lost focus of Him again. The good news is that a friend of mine lit a fire under me without even knowing I needed one. I’m grateful for friends who continue to grow and produce a contagious Christianity. I’d like to let you peek inside my journal and see a few pages of what I’ve been learning. [Yes, I both journal and blog . . . one can’t take the place of the other. I’m adamant that there are some things that need to remain unpublished for the whole world to see.]

03.13.08 | .live.biblically.

Should be a cakewalk, right? Um . . . obviously not. How can I live that way without knowing the Bible? And why have I been ok living any other way? This thought came at the perfect time. How rebuking but motivating as well! I’m going to tackle the Sermon on the Mount. I think it’s a good starting point.

I think there are a few areas I really need to go after and figure out . . . I have a new passion and a new drive.

Thank God for growing friends.

This is a life-changing thought.

03.14.08

I find the principle of selflessness quite evident in Matthew 5. And selflessness when wronged.

  • If someone sues for your shirt, give him your coat, too.
  • If someone hits you, give him another shot.
  • If someone forcefully takes you one mile, go two.
  • Give to anyone who asks.
  • Don’t turn away from someone who wants to borrow.

Then Jesus says . . . “Here’s the principle: Love your enemies. Pray for your persecutors.”

And He says, “Live this way.”

03.15.08 | stop here. Matthew 6:1

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you will have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.”

  • Giving to the poor.
  • Praying [do it in secret . . . without using meaningless or repetitious phrases.]
  • Forgiving others
  • Fasting [look your best so others won’t even notice.]

Wow. This is huge. Probably one of my biggest struggles—to not draw attention when I do right. This is biblical living.

“Live this way.”

03.16.08 | live this way!

  • Store treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:20—21)
  • Don’t worry about life (Matthew 6:25—32)
  • Seek God’s kingdom first and foremost (Matthew 6:33)
  • Take care of your huge problems before you start judging others based on their little ones (Matthew 7:3—5)
  • In everything, treat others the way you would want to be treated (Matthew 7:12)
  • Beware of false prophets. [You can figure this out based on the bad fruit they produce.] (Matthew 7:15—20)
  • If you hear this [these words of Jesus] and act on it, you are wise (Matthew 7:24—25)

03.28.08 | John 10:27

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

Can you imagine how different life would be if we actually lived the way Jesus told us to? Look back . . . those were commands He gave us, not suggestions. Why are we content to live so selfishly? God gave us an example to follow by giving us Jesus. Not only was He given as our Redeemer, but as a Model for Life! There really is no excuse for our choices to disregard His life.

a few alias options . . .

alias.jpg

Rock Star Name
first pet & current car
Puddin’ Camry

Gangsta Name
favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie
Mint Chocolate Snickerdoodle

Detective Name
favorite color, favorite animal
Green Rottweiler

Soap Opera Name
middle name, city where you were born
Beth Hixson

Star Wars Name
the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first
Steau

Superhero Name
”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink
The Blue Dew

Nascar Name
the first names of your grandfathers
Joe Bill

Witness Protection Name
mother’s & father’s middle names
Susan Lynn

TV Weather Anchor Name
Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter
Bullington Boston

Spy Name
your favorite season/holiday, flower
Autumn Daisy

Cartoon Name
favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”
Pineapple Jeanie

Hippie Name
What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree
Frosted Weeping Willow

lucky petals

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Last week, I had the opportunity to spend my first week with Horsemanship Campers ever. It was amazing.

I had a blast the entire week, and was thoroughly drained by the end of it. Not at all the highlight of my week, but an interesting part of it was my participation in the Shodeo. [Y’know . . . rodeos . . . well, we don’t do all the dangerous stuff, so it’s a Shodeo.]

I was asked to be one of the Shodeo clowns. It was a lot of fun planning the games for transition times and stuff. It was more fun finding all the things we needed [including my lovely flower at the Dollar Tree—the inspiration for my name, Petals]. One of my friends was the other clown, Lucky.

So, uh . . . yeah. Not everyone can say they’ve been a Shodeo clown.

hatching

piratestees.jpg

Weird title.

Anyways, I’ve decided what to do with my tax refund. [Thank you to the few of you who gave suggestions.] Deep down in my heart I know I should pay off my debt. So about half of my refund will go toward that. I have the opportunity to go to Disneyland at the end of April. Since I’m in California, and since I’ve never been close to anything Disney, and since pretty much all my friends out here will be going, I decided to go too. I’m very excited about it, actually. It will probably cost about $100 with food, gas, etc. So I feel like it’s worth it.

To completely change topics, I’m exhausted. I haven’t felt rested in several weeks. I woke up the other day and thought, Aaah. [That’s a good sounding sigh.] I feel rested. But about an hour later, I didn’t feel so rested anymore. I’m wondering if my mono has returned, but I don’t have any of the other symptoms. I’m that tired, though. Bleh. Part of me thinks it’s my job [because it’s a lot more active than program was] and part of me thinks it’s the sun.

And thank goodness for the time change. Nothing like getting another hour of sleep ripped out from under you. Not like it really matters, though. I’ve been going to bed early [because I’m so tired] and I lay in bed for an hour before I can fall asleep. How aggravating.

On the side of good news, I had another $103 show up this week. God has been so evident in the past months. I definitely don’t deserve His love. He’s provided various random jobs for me to earn a little bit at a time [ok, 3/4 of what I make in a month, actually . . . in less than a week], and also given people a burden to support me out here. Wow. He’s so big.

I could probably ramble on for a while still, but it would get pretty pointless.

counting my chickens . . .

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I have a tax refund coming my way in just a week or so. I’m trying to decide what to do with the money. I have a whopping $229 that will arrive in my bank account, and I want to spend it wisely.

But I want to spend it.

On something fun.

And something for me.
[How selfish.]

Here’s the thing . . . I’ve been living off the money I’ve been receiving the past couple months just fine. I know that I have a good amount coming in for this month, and I feel like I haven’t purchased something really fun for myself in a while.

Please help me. Here are my thoughts:

  1. Graphire 6×8 Bluetooth tablet: I’ve wanted this for a while. I asked for one for Christmas, but knew it was too expensive to expect. It costs $250, so I would have to add just a little of my own money. It would be a fun design tool to have around.
  2. Clothes: I could definitely invest in more jeans. And more stuff I could wear around camp. I don’t know that it’s really necessary, though.
  3. Pedicure and books: I’d be able to save some money this way. And I could really use a pedicure. It would be nice to pamper myself. I could get a massage, too, but that’s just a thought. I should probably focus on reading the books I already have before I start buying more.
  4. Credit card debt: I want to pay off my card. I really do. I just don’t want to use this money to do it. And it’s not a lot of debt, anyways. I’m paying it off slowly, but surely.
  5. Design magazine subscription: I have a few in mind to choose from . . . Communication Arts, Step, HOW . . .

So those are my ideas. I’m also open to other ideas. If you have any good ones, please send them my way. Even if it’s over my budget, just tell me and I can drool over it.

At this point, I’m leaning towards the tablet.

single awareness day

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I guess calling Valentine’s Day something like that is supposed to be a sort of consolation. But, I think most of us singles would agree that we don’t need an awareness day. I’m very aware of my relationship status. Every day. There need be no reminders.